Closer was Awesome!

Closer was great! I had the privilege of talking to Phil Leblanc and Jason Guidry. I had the best time ever talking and laughing with them. My wonderful girls also took part in the conversation. That would be Makayla and Khira. Jordan also did an excellent job "preaching". It was great. I learn so much talking about leadership because I believe God has called me to be a leader. I always have room to grow in the area of leadership. To change the subject, I have had some trouble getting along with my parents. I think it's a girl thing. It's so hard being a teenage girl, but God made me one so I expect Him to help me out. Me and my mom have been arguing over everything. We just can't relate. They just don't understand how much they say impacts me. I've told them that what they say and how I interpret what they say are two different things. They don't seem to try to change what they say. I'm like what's the point of telling them if they don't try to help me understand what they're saying. We definitely don't think the same. This is so tough. It seems as if I go through more things. I guess it just builds my faith. I always seem to be going through something; God never lets me get comfortable. It seems like most people write on things that God has showed them but I always seem to write on things God is allowing me to go through. I hope you'll don't mind. I really enjoy getting to hang with you'll. I have to go back to volleyball try-outs tomorrow at 7:30 a.m. That is crazy! Today we had to run around the parking lot three times. I was totally out of breath. I hope tomorrow is easier. See ya soon!

Refuge was Crazy!

That video of Jason was hilarious! Jason preached an excellent message on giving God your best. That got me thinking. As far as Equip goes, I will have to miss at least two classes. I might even miss time with my family in Texas for this internship. But whatever I end up doing I want to give God my best. This is a big decision considering my cousin is going to kill me if I don't come visit her. I'm going to have a mess on my hands if I skip time with her to do Equip, not to mention finding someone to stay with. I will probably have to stay with someone who is doing Equip and I don't know people that well yet. Anyway,I have volleyball try-outs tomorrow and I'm totally convinced on playing volleyball my best, but not for me or the coach but for God. I hope to see you'll soon! I'll see the Closer people tomorrow. I miss talking to my friends at Refuge already and I've been home like maybe an hour. I totally love going to Refuge. God always shows up and the people who talk to me are the coolest people ever. See ya soon!

Where is God?

Lately I've haven't been able to "feel" God like I usually can. I know everyone goes through this. I'm like God where are you? Do you hear me when I pray? Why are you allowing this to happen? I think it's one of those, are you going to trust me when you can't "feel" me things. It's kind of confusing. I don't know what God is doing or where He's taking me. It's hard to trust God when you don't feel like you're on a spiritual "high". I have been in doubt thinking, God are you still here and are you still working in my life? This is really tough. I've been praying about it. I don't know if I done something wrong or if God is just testing me. He is probably just wishing I'd quit thinking about it and over analyzing everything. This is just something I've been facing for about a week and it's really frustrating. I just thought I'd share it with you'll. See ya tomorrow.

Closer Pool Party

I don't know about you'll other Closer people but I had a great time at the pool party on Thursday. We should definitely do that again. I'm still new but now I'm really looking forward to the events with Refuge. I am so excited about Equip and Submerge. I can't wait to all this gets started. I look forward to Refuge on Wednesdays and Closer on Thursdays. I will see you'll soon and look forward to continue to meet more people at Refuge. Going to Refuge had truly changed my life spiritually and I'm also meeting more people which makes it fun. Every leader at Refuge should be proud of the wonderful youth group they are a part of. This youth group has no doubt changed other lives as well as mine. I am so glad I get the privilege of participating in this youth group and get to change lives by serving one. I'll see you'll Wednesday.

God Always Brings You Back to Your Knees

When I was sick over the weeekend I didn't do my quiet time. This caused me to, I guess, not be as focussed as I usually am on God. I didn't feel like it was bad not to do my quiet time for a couple of days, but yesterday I was so frustrated. I am just tired of being sick and just ready to be healed. I couldn't understand why I was so upset. Every time I start getting out of my routine and not focussing on God as much something always happens to make me refoccus and come fall at Jesus' feet. The weird thing is I didn't feel like I wasn't focussed. All I can think is that God dosen't want me to go backwards in any way. He wants me to get closer to Him even if it causes me some pain. I started reading the Prayer of Jabez book that I have. It talked about asking God to have His hand upon us. I realized if it wasn't for the crazt things I face I wouldn't have to go to God and say, Daddy help me. God always has a way to get us refocussed on Him. I don't really know if this makes since. It made since to me yesterday when I was upset. I'll see you'll tonight.

Apollo Takes the Gold!

I have been watching Dancing With the Stars for three seasons. I really wanted Apollo to win and he did. If know one cares I know Kandace does. She loves the show too. I just had to write about this.

Keep him in Prayer

Today I found out my old principal has throat cancer. It sounds so devastating, but the last time they thought he had cancer he prayed and fasted until God healed him. I have to believe he's probably doing the same. Benny Hinn was also praying for him and announced it on t.v. I am proud to remember him as someone who totally trusts God. Please keep him in your prayers. No matter how much faith you have it has to be hard for him and his wife and kids. His name is Craig Wascom. It's very sad because he's only in his forties.My God is the God who is the Great Physician and I believe He can heal him. What about you? My mom is also sick. If you will pray for her too. Thinking about how awesome our God is, I thought of something our former pastor played at church several years ago. It is this preacher trying to describe God. It is incredible. It is about seven minutes but it's worth the time.The link is on my link list to the right. It says That's My King!

Thankfulness

We talked about thankfulness last night at Closer. It was really good. We read 1 Thessalonians 5:16-19. It basically says be happy, pray continuously, give thanks in everything, and don't put out the Spirit's fire. I think that should be out prayer everyday. That kind of sums everything in 2 verses. We read Philippians 4:6-7. That verse tells us not to worry but to pray.I also learned something new. Tori said not to dwell on our worries after giving them to God, which makes since, but usually after I pray I still dwell on my circumstances. That is something I personally need to work on. We talked about focusing on others rather than ourselves so we're not thinking about what we don't have. I always feel like I get the good end anyway when I get to serve others, most of the time.We miss blessings and opportunities when we're thinking about ourselves. We also need to forgive ourselves.Romans 8:1 tells us there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. I also realized that God can use me even on days I majorly mess up because it's not about me, it's about Him and He's always perfect. I'm just His vessel. Thankfulness is an attitude. You choose to be thankful, you don't just walk into it. It is also a habit. When we have nothing to be thankful for, we still do, we have Jesus to be thankful for. God cares about every aspect our our lives. That is important to remember. Romans 8:38-39 tells us nothing can seperate us from God's love. Psalm 92 is completely awesome. I have to agree with Tori that verse 5 and 6 are my favorites too. It says," How great are your works, O Lord, how profound are your thoughts! The senseless man does not know, fools do not understand,... I encourage you to read the whole chapter. I don't think it's as long as my post, which is extremely long. Something really cool happened today. I was looking up some verses for a guy in my class and the first one I turned to was so for me. I was looking up verses from my notes from Refuge a couple of weeks ago. I worry a lot, those who know anything about me know that. The verse was about worrying. It was so cool. It was exactly what I needed to hear even though I had finished working on what I was worried about. Anyway, The verse is Isaiah 26:3. It says," You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." I thought it was so awesome. See you'll Wednesday!

The "I Am" Statements

Tonight the message was from John 10:9. It was pretty cool. I thought the point about you not being able to accidentally follow God and make it to heaven was really awesome. You can totally mess-up and go through a wrong door, but you can't just walk into following Jesus. It is a choice you must make. About the "I Am" statements, well, Jesus said He is the Door and the Shepherd. That's kind of interesting. He is sitting at the door watching out for you and He is the door you must go through. That's kind of cool. Paul Musso's poem was incredible. I can't believe God totally like gave that to him. He must have the hook up with God. I have never been given something quite like that, but that's so awesome.I just started reading the Payer of Jabez for Teens. It really seems to be a great book that can help you if you want your life to completely change and God to rock your world. I'll see some of you'll at Closer tomorrow!

Being a Godly Leader

I got to do my presentation on leadership yestersday. It went well. I didn't feel like I had enough time, but it was good. My class seemed like they weren't listening, but I think it's just because some of them can't relate. Anyway, me Bible teacher thought it was so good. I really didn't think so. I felt I coulndn't get my points across so my classmates could understand. It seems like my teacher thinks everything I ever talk about is so profound. All I do is use stories from all the cool people I don't really know personally at Refuge and all Jason's amazing points. I also used some stuff from Tori and Jason's blogs. Then I add some verses and devtionals and stuff. This time we got to listen to the song we sing called Solution. That song is amazing and I got to talk about what it had to do with leadership and how I understand it. It was really cool. It justs feels natural writing these "messages." I'm glad my techer enjoyed it and if I reached one person that makes it all worth it. I really enjoy talking to my class. It's all God when it comes to talking in front of people becuse that used to be a major fear for me, but with God's help I have improved and actually enjoy speaking in front of people( at least in Bible in MY class). No matter how I feel I did, I know there was reason for me talking to my class about leadershp and I know someone must of understood something about it. It didn't go perfectly, but perfectly to me and getting the points across God wanted me to are different. I hope that makes since. See you'll Wednesday!

There Will be Disappointments

Today I got my leap scores back. They weren't bad, but they weren't as good as I would of liked. Before I opened them, I prayed and told God that I knew that the scores were part of His will. But even knowing that, when I opened them, I wasn't satisfied. I do well in school so if I didn't do well, I started to think of how others might have done. Then I started thinking, what if someone in my class did better than I did. I know I'm going to be upset. I really need to pray about it and tell God that I know there is a reason why I performed this way. It really bothers me because I am disappointed in myself, and this helps decide the classes I will be able to take next year. In the big scheme of things this isn't that big of a deal but right now it seems pretty bad. At church I didn't feel like doing much but I tried not to think about it. That is very difficult. I think it is going to take time for me to accept this. I know this definitely happened for a reason because it determines a lot for next year. I just can't seem to see the big picture, but I know God does. It's all in His hands. Thank goodness it's not in mine. This experience really humbles me because sometimes I get prideful about my academic achievements.

Refuge was Totally Cool!

All right, I went to Refuge tonight and some pretty crazy things happened. I had received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit about a month or two ago. I hadn't ever really spoke in tongues. The night I received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit I could feel the Holy Spirit and kind of just muttered(if that makes since) something. Anyway, I haven't really spoke in tongues until tonight. I just let go and began speaking in tongues. And even as Tweez spoke I almost couldn't stop. It was crazy cool. My parents have pretty much gone to Baptist church for the last like 15 years.FYI( Baptists, in general, don't speak in tongues.) So talking to them about it is crazy. They haven't experienced this yet, so they can't relate very well. Then on top of all that when my parents, mostly my dad, picked me up they made comments about the music people were listening to and whatever else. That made me so upset. I try to explain that I have grown so much spiritually since attending Refuge. I feel like they can't relate; they're so traditional. I told my dad he needs to try to understand and even suggesting they come and see for themselves next week. I don't understand how Christian parents can be skeptical about church. It just isn't like it used to be, I guess. Has anyone else been through something like this? I don't understand why I have to go through this. I mean it's church. I think it's just because they were Baptist and like things traditional.

ANY IDEAS!

I have to give a presentation in Bible class next week on leadership. I was wondering if any of you'll have any cool information concerning leadership. Maybe a verse,website, or any notes from a sermon. Please post a comment if you have any good ideas. I'm going to be looking this week. Thanks!

Faith

So often I feel I'm so strong in my faith. Then it seems like minutes later the devil is like are you sure you really believe Jesus is here and can really help you, does He really love you? Then I think of course I'm sure. It seems like we quickly forget what Jesus has brought us through and how real He has been in our lives. It's so crazy. He is so real to me, but the devil still tries to convince of these crazy ideas. The devil also tries to tell me I'm going to give into temptation and won't be able to stand my ground, but yet I know I do not think I could ever let myself do those things. God also ALWAYS gives us a way out of temptation and will not put you through something you can't handle. That is such a great thing! I feel the more God is real in my life the harder it gets. The last few months have been awesome, scary, and difficult. Not to mention emotional. I have grown more spiritually these last few months than ever before. Every time I start to get comfortable, God rocks my world. It is awesome but very tiring. I could never get through without God giving me strength. He always seems to have it under control even when I'm so scared and worried. He always takes care of everything, the scary, the silly, the big, and the little. I don't kow if I'm the only one who goes throught things like this, I'm sure plenty of people go through it, but just don't talk about it. Anyway, no matter who goes through these types of things, God is always my Hiding place, Strength, and my Refuge. Just to let you'll know, I 'm new to Refuge and just wanted to tell you'll I have met some really nice people and it has been easy to get involved. You'll really have a welcoming enviroment. I have been enjoying coming, and I hope I continue to meet more people. To all you'll Refuge people, you are doing a good job of reaching out to new people and to the community. See ya Wednesday.

God Totally Wants Me to be Thankful

Tonight Refuge was awesome! We watched a movie about Emmy, a boy from Uganda. It was so sad. His dad died of Aids and in the movie his mom also died of Aids. It was crazy. Sometimes we take for granted our parents and think they will always be there. Emmy thought so too. I began to think of how life would be without my wonderful parents. It was really scary. I don't know how I would even make it, all I could think was God would give me the strength. Anyway, it would be horrible. I don't know how anyone could ever go through that and be able to move on and live life to the fullest. Then once again in worship God totally changed my perspective. The song said For your kingdom we will cry, For your orphans we will pray unending, nations will be called, For this is the creed of your generation. It was unbelievable to think about how ungrateful I've been this week. Last week I took care of my mom as she was sick. This week my brother is sick. I have been so jealous. I have been tired of everyone else getting attention. God showed me how these children in Africa have nothing and no parents, and look at me being a selfish idiot. I have sooooooooo much and have so much to be thankful for. Of course I go through things, but nothing in comparison to these children. Plus, when I am struggling God is always is there to help me out, and that makes it all the better. I have not been completely ridded (if that is a word) of my jealousy and self- centered attitude, but at least I've been slapped by God, and He has showed me how crazy I've been acting. I am still battling. My flesh still wants me to be jealous and have a negative attitude, but I'm going to continue to push through and overcome this attitude. Jason also said we should live like Jesus is coming back in 5 minutes. That is so true. We wouldn't want God to show up with us acting like heathens. Let's live as if Jesus is physically watching our every move because He isn't here physically but He does see our every move. We need to work hard to Him proud and make our Jesus look good. One more thing, Angela said we're all united in Christ. That made me feel like no matter what we could worship to the fullest no matter who is around and we are all accepted by Christ. Sometimes I feel like I'm not accepted by anyone around me, but I know God will always accept me. Just think of it this way, Jesus died while we were sinning and He loves us knowing we ARE going to sin again. Isn't that incredible? Please keep Gabby's family in your prayers. She passed away in a car wreck this morning.

Helping people at School

I have had the privilege of getting to know me P.E. teacher. He is really cool. I have come to find out some things they have been going through for a long time. I have never been in the position they're in, but I figured there must be a way I can help. I have been praying for them. They have never been able to have children. This has resulted in them being mad at God. The lady has switched jobs four times in the past couple of months. It seems as if she is trying to find happiness in things other than God. I get to talk to my P.E. teacher every once and a while about it. So, yesterday I printed out some devotionals that I get on my email and some Scriptures and stuff. I thought that might help. Today I gave him those things and he seemed happy about it. It is his wife who has had the most trouble with this. I am going to continue to pray for them. I am so happy he feels like he can tell me these things because it's not too often an adult can share something so personal with a teenager. I feel privileged to be able to help him in any way and pray for him. Please keep him and his wife in your prayers even though you'll don't him. Even though this is a small thing, God has given me the opportunity to reach out and I'm going to take it.